Books on marriage, can they really help save your marriage? The answer is yes, probably, but you need to make sure to pick the right book for you. Instead of taking the usual approach of compiling a list of good marriage books, this article will show you how to evaluate books on marriage to find the one that is right for you and your problems.
One hard truth that most people have a hard time accepting is that they are not special unique snowflakes. It may seem like you’re the only person in the world going through what you’re going through, but you aren’t. There are six billion people in the world; somewhere in that teeming mass is someone who has gone through what you’re going through. Probably millions of someones, to be honest.
At the same time, your marriage is unique. Yes, that is in direct contradiction with the above statement, but don’t worry, I’ll explain. While there are certainly other people with your problems, there are still millions of different variations, and all books on marriage don’t apply to every marriage.
What you need to do to sort through the thousands of books on marriage is to know exactly what it is you want out of the books. If your problem is that you wish your spouse would spend a little more time with you, then you are going to be looking for an entirely different book than someone who is trying to bring their marriage back from the brink of divorce.
So you need to know what problem, if any, you’re trying to address. You then need to look for books that fit into your personal worldview. Books on marriage that focus on prayer and spirituality may work wonderfully for some people, but if you’re not that kind of person, the advice will be useful for your particular situation.
You need to look through whatever books you think might be relevant to your situation and see if they make sense to you. Psychology, or just the study and understanding of why people do the things they do, is not a hard science. Two plus two does not necessarily equal four. If a book doesn’t make sense to you, then it will almost certainly not work for you. Look for the books on marriage that have relevance to you and your relationship, and forget the rest.
Another thing to consider is the reputation of the author. This isn’t necessarily as big a deal as you might think, but it definitely is something you need to consider when you’re looking at books on marriage. Does the person have the kind and experience and credentials that you’d expect? Do they seem to have a good handle on the subject? If you can’t find the answer to this easily, the answer is probably no.
You shouldn’t discount the internet either. Some of the most well researched, most effective books on marriage are out there available as downloads, so that you can start using them immediately. Just make sure to use what you’ve learned in this article to make sure you get the right one.
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